Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
