So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
