exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
3 2 1 whiskey
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
