i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
we made out on top of his cat.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
