Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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