how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
I see more hoeing in ur future
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