Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Randomize