at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
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