Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
