Have you finally orgasmed yet?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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