Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(802): View more from Vermont

It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.

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(440): View more from Ohio

Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.

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(613): View more from Ontario

Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo

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(+33): View more from France

He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands

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(203): View more from Connecticut

The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow

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(908): View more from New Jersey

if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?

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(502): View more from Kentucky

How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule

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(239): View more from Florida

On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?

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(803): View more from South Carolina

Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off

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