The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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