just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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