He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
