How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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