You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize