is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
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