so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Randomize
