Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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