That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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