Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
