it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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