whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
she woke up with a sticky ear
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
