they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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