She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
