Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
