just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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