Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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