I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Randomize
