This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
When did angry sex become our thing?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize