who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
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