Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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