Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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