Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
where are my eyebrows?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
