what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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