This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
