so that wasnt chicken after all
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
