I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
