My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Randomize