i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Don't EVER smell your tampon
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
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