do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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