quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize