i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize