yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
