the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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