The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
