Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I'm passing your future prison.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Randomize