Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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