We got so high we made milksteak
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
His nipple licking is glorious
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