Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
