haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
