she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Randomize
