Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Sorry about my life...
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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