we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
