I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
