he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
worst night to have a conscience
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
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