What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
