Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
