I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Success! We fucked roommates!
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