I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
