there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Randomize
