Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
