I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
