I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
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