My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
