the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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