Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
im holly from the hills drunk
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Randomize
