So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
